A Restart

My last post was on 24th July 2009. It has been 3 and half years since. A really long time. Why I stopped posting I myself cannot postmortem completely now. There have been umpteen things that excited me and ignited me to post many a time but at the same time I was battling with 'CHANGE'. It was just a change of JOB superficially but inside it was not so easy for me to accept.

 If you Change from one software firm to another still it is difficult but comparatively easier. As more or less it is the same structure. For me it was a complete somersault from corporate to single ownership, from media to education. Coping up with this 'CHANGE' took such a lot of time and gave a gap for my postings that everything came to stand still. Later from that CHANGE it was another Change of nor working and staying at home. Looking after my baby who is now a toddler.

The 'RESTART' was not easy. So many deadlines for myself , I will start from New Year, from Birthday and so on but as it is human nature when deadlines are set by others we meet them but when we set them on our own we push them.

Here I have to mention one of my friend M, she has been cajoling me, pleading me, threatening me to restart my blog. She was literally pushing me. It was like off late whenever I call her or meet her, I was feeling guilty.

I wanted to start if not for my passion but for her belief and trust in me 'that I have that something in me which inspires and motivates people'. We certainly do need friends like this in our life who push us a little more. Still there was confusion what to write on, as usual wanted to start on NEW YEAR but 2012 ended with so much glum of NIRBHAYA episode that it was hanging heavy on my internal system and I did not want to start on a tragic note.

Then it happened today morning, went to a shopping centre with my neighbour and suddenly a sweet looking young girl with beautiful eyes walks up to me and said 'You use to work in Radio Mirchi'. For a moment I was taken aback, because as a Programming Head I was behind the scenes, and not famous like my RJs. I said 'yes'! She said, 'you took my interview in 2009'. I tried to recollet the 'RJ Hunt' where hundreds of would be RJs had walked in. I said 'your face looked familiar but could not place you'. Then all of a sudden she asked 'You used to write beautiful blog, why are you not writing any more?' She also said, you have an elder daughter as well. Her name is Vennela right?'

For a moment I was dumbstruck. This girl remembers me from 4years, although I stopped writing since then still she remembers. It really touched my heart. Positive energy engulfed me.  I nodded my head, smiled and said to her. 'Yes I need to start it, as there had been a gap, the restart is not happening.' Later I could not concentrate on shopping. This thought was popping up again and again in my mind, in life you meet lot of people, some even for a very brief time but you leave your mark on them, the impression is made. Your talk, smile, everything leaves an impact.

 This was the gesture from above, a compliment from a stranger for something I have in me and I made up my mind. I should write.  In life most of us start so many things enthusiastically, whether it is a hobby or social service anything it could be, but somewhere in the day to day rat race that fizzles out. All we need is a small spark to ignite and that could come from any direction or from with in you as well. So if it was a camera you kept aside, or the brushes and palette or your guitar take them out, dust them out and RESTART. Experience the JOY!

Change: We all need but difficult to accept!

Off late I am slightly in a melancholy mood, as I am going to change my job soon. Most of us say I am bored of doing the same thing again and again I need some change, but familiarity has its own comfort levels, be it the peer group, neighbourhood, job or anything.

There are people who are born in a particular place, grow up there and take up the family business and settle down in the same place. Then there are globe trotters. There are also men in the armed forces who are transferred every now and then to different corners of our country into completely contrasting geographical and climatic changes. And they get used to it.

I have been used to moving from place to place and adjusting in different places right from my childhood and use to enjoy it making new friends along life's journey. There was a time from 96 to 2000 that for every new year i was residing in a new place altogether. It is not new for me to change jobs either, right from the time I graduated I have been working with intermittent breaks and into varied professions. Every time I use to start a new job after a break and I use to look forward enthusiastically to prove myself. But this time I am switching the job without any break and that must not be the only reason why I am feeling blue!

Over a period of time, I got used to the comfort levels of this job, the perks and the environment, the stress everything and feeling very sad of moving on but it is a choice that I have made with full consciousness and so no looking back.

Off late as I start coming to work, the feelings arise , I am going to miss this drive to office overlooking the bay, the familiar smell of the room freshener when i enter the office, the smiles of the office boys who are always energetic, the music playing above my head (as I am working in a radio station).

There are a lot of apprehensions about the next job, how interesting would it be, will i enjoy it as much, will I be able to perform to the optimum levels etc. Hope these all apprehensions will rest in peace. But this transition period of change is difficult to experience right now till I attain the comfort zone in my new job. But then that is the way of life.....

Here I like to reminisce a few words written by a friend about change

"The Oak was once a tiny seed and the flute was once a lonely reed and it is Change that brought the transformation, nothing is constant in this world, every moment something, somewhere, surrounding us is changing, the only thing constant is Change...